misundertandings

Yesterday I had a fun day, I went to have breakfast with and old friend and his gringo good-looking boyfriend. We were talking about tricks women have to look good, and the guy said: There are 3 things that a woman must know, how to sew, to put make up on and go to the gym, to which I replied: Oh my gosh! I'm dead... I don't sew, I don't know how to put make up on and I don't go to the gym :(

He insisted: but can you cook?
me: noooooooooo! :(
He: so what can you do?
me: I can write :)
All of the sudden my friend started laughing so hard, and said: "I can't believe she said that!"
me: what? write? why is it so funny? I like writing...
her: oh!!! Oh my God I thought you said ride! ride.. you know (riding a guy she thought).
me: noooooo! I didn't say that!
her: oh I'm sorry but I can't help it, everytime I think about you, I think about sex, and I'm not lesbian and I don't have a crush on you, but____________________(private)__________________.... some day we will get a coffee and you'll tell me all your secrets.
He: so know we know what you can do.

WTF