Be Real

Most of the time, when I don't wanna do something, I ask the sky, the clouds and the sun to help me, so something comes up and I don't have to do something in particular. But if it doesn't happen, I ignore my feelings and still do it. This time, I stood up for myself, and I didn't begin with excuses, but with words and honesty. This is something I've been working on for the last 2 years, and I think I've gotten better at it. It feels comforting knowing that.

I've lost my 2 good friends, from different scenarios or groups, and it happened so quickly. We used to call and talk to each other very often, and all of a sudden, it took longer to reply, shorter answers, no answers at all, 4 days later a message without replying to the message, and then the full interaction was gone. I tried to rescue the friendships several times, but if there is no interest, it's OK. Now I can live with it, and I'm over it.

I know I changed. I know sometimes I also disappeared for days, but I was always back and recharged, able to listen. So it might be me, and I'm also OK with it. I think I over-practiced detachment, and it went well.

And if I want to add a divine connotation to it, maybe our vibrations were no longer matching. Maybe we were meant to get away from each other because our purposes were no longer connected, or maybe we were a bad influence on each other, or simply not good enough for each other.

This happening repeatedly made me realize I have to work on myself.